#also rule 69... nice.

[crow-brainworms]

I have a downloaded copy of the NHL 23-24 rulebook, and...

GUYS!!! GUYS!!!!!! INSIDE OR OUTSIDE THE CREASE!!!!!!!

[yourlocalsmutwriter]

You, the driver and the horrible no good day

Summary: You're too busy hiding your new relationship to actually consumate it. For once, wardrobe malfunctions work for you, not against you. Aka accidentally flashing the driver leads to smut. ft oral (f receiving), titjobs, 69, age gaps, praise and cock warming.

Lewis Hamilton- Lewis was taking his job as your very new, very rich boyfriend very seriously. When his schedule is free enough to finally ask you out, he's low-key concerned. Why were you suggesting seedy bars and cheap sandwich places? When he found out that's where your exes had taken you, he had to do something. So he went ahead and booked a restaurant on the Michelin star wait list. It was mostly to impress you. And he also wanted to have a good meal.

You were never late. Especially for a day you had been anticipating. But also you had no dresses for a fancy restaurant. An impromptu shopping trip that included Victoria's Secret. Time to shower and glam up. Unreliable transport. And that all amounted to trouble. Thankfully the restaurant was right in front of you. With a minute to spare, you broke out into a little sprint. You could feel your panties being a bit too big. They were sliding down your body, but you were too focused to care. Lewis was also in your sights now. He's leaning against a pillar, smirking at you, looking delicious. You stop right in front of him and your panties land squarely on his expensive shoes.

"Nice to see you too." He says through a smile. You both bend down to fix it, cause otherwise it would look more awkward. Once you're decent you go to apologize, but as soon as you look at your date's eyes, well. You're not sure who started the kiss, or how you end up pressed against a wall right in front of the high class restaurant. His lips are on your neck, and you're already starting to feel something in your stomach. Then your brain makes the connection where you are.

"Our reservation" you exclaim.

"Honey, did you forget who I am? They can wait. Don't make that face. When you still hadn't arrived, I went in and it's fine." He places a quick kiss against your cheek and leads you in the restaurant. He was definitely starving now, but not for anything to eat.

******************************************************

You two had already broken so many rules of first dates already. Having been speaking for a few months already, your meal wasn’t filled with ice breaker questions and shyness. Maybe it was that comfort that eased you. Or the very expensive glass of wine your boyfriend recommended. But you had ended up in his hotel room, wearing only your thong, with Lewis between your legs asking ‘’Is this okay?’’.

As soon as you said yes, he was kissing up your thighs. The driver was so pretty, you couldn’t help but just keep looking at him. Him, moving your thong aside, but not taking it off. Him holding eye contact as he places his lips on your clit. Him, holding your legs, open wide.

Him, replacing his mouth with his fingers, so he can talk you through it. Him, forehead pressed to yours, telling you, ‘’Don’t hold back. Listen to your body. It’s telling you what you need’’.

Him, moving his fingers faster. Him, saying  ‘’That’s it, come for me.’’. You got to see his pretty face become even more handsome as you palmed his cock. Going down on him, you were looking for a little dessert of your own. The perfect finish to an unforgettable meal. 

Daniel Ricciardo- Attending any GP was a dream come true for you. But the Australian one was the most special. Not because it was gonna be your first one. But also because it was a certain Alpha Tauri driver’s home race. And you were gonna cheer him on extra loud, because he was your boyfriend, albeit a secret one.

Danny had gotten you paddock passes. You were well known and successful enough in your area, so it made sense for you to be invited. But the actual processing kept you on your toes. You couldn’t justify your boyfriend paying for your flight or anything else.

Thank God for flash sales. Everything was very last minute, and in the mad rush to the airport, you forgot your suitcase. Thankfully your passport was in your bag and you managed to board the plane. Danny picked you up, because you texted him in your frazzled state. Jetlagged you and your over excited boyfriend went shopping and got you a cropped white office shirt. Along with navy blue summer pants, you were ready for tomorrow. Or so you thought.

Apparently, you had underestimated the number of critters around you. Even in the paddock, you could see some of the big bees flying around. Someone around you swore that there was a giant spider crawling out of the grass. Suddenly, you wish you were with the groundhogs in Canada. At least Daniel drove like he was back in his prime. You’re so focused on watching him that you don’t feel the huge spider getting snug on your chest. When the driver is done with his quali, he walks over to you. ‘’Guess I’m not the only Aussie that likes you, huh.’’, he notes, motioning to the creepy crawly. You completely freak out, trying to get the spider off you.

The victim of this wasn’t the insect, but the integrity of your shirt. Your buttons scattered on the ground. Like the proverbial pears of viewers if the director pans to you. Thankfully, no one sees your exposed chest, but your boyfriend. Who quickly spins you around and glues you to his back, like you’re a koala on a branch. You’re pressed up so tightly that your nipples are hard, making you both groan. You basically barricade yourself in the driver’s room until the admin brings you an Alpha Tauri shirt. You secretly wonder if Danny likes you wearing it or finds it cringe.

*********************************************

When your boyfriend pulls you into his hotel room and immediately takes it off your chest, you don’t have much time to reflect. While usually your makeout sessions had remained pretty PG (leaving you pretty sexually frustrated), this one was all bites and hickeys, tinged with desire.

‘’Get on the bed’’ Danny said as your head was still reeling from his forwardness. Where was this guy when you were wearing your shortest dresses, intent on sleeping with him, only to be wished goodnight with a peck on the cheek. And now his hand was smacking your other cheeks, mumbling something about impatience. As you laid down, you watched him take off his pants, hard cock popping up in your view. You guessed he’d heard your soft ‘’Fuck, it’s so big’’ by the signature smile appearing on his face. As if intent on making you explode on the spot, he adds.

‘’You know, darling, I'm usually a gentleman. But your tits have been driving me crazy this whole day. So I’ll use them to get off. Can’t say I usually finish first, but I need you so bad. But I promise I’ll make it up to you, a couple of times even. So can I?’’. After letting you finish saying yes, he straddles you, tongue and teeth all over your breasts. His cock was rubbing against the sheets, reminding him of the need to get off. He asks you to hold your palms flat against the side of your chest. Your boobs are pressed together and he slides his cock between them.

Danny catches your eyes and sees that you look confused.

‘’Does this feel good’’ you ask, followed by ‘’Should I be doing something more?’’ and ‘’I could stick out my tongue,so it feels like a blowjob.’’

‘’I know what I’m doing.’’ he practically barks at you, and makes a mental note of how your eyes glaze over in pleasure. You now just stare at him in fascination now, mesmerized by his flushed, pretty face, how he’s put his large hands over yours, how his cock fits perfectly like this, even though the precum is making you sticky. Daniel pulls away and jerks himself off over your chest, making your pretty tits even prettier by covering them with his cum. You, dipping your finger and tasting it, is the last thing he sees before he sets off to make sure you at least come second.

Oscar Piastri- ‘’Oscar, it’s hot’’, you say for the upteenth time. When your boyfriend had the bright idea to bring you to Australia for the summer break, you agreed. Maybe it was the curiosity to go to a new place, maybe you were wondering how he would introduce you to his friends. You didn't anticipate that it would be spent on beaches or indoors. Oscar somehow neglected to tell you about his broken AC. You were practically daydreaming about the ice bath from Singapore. And not just because Oscar was sitting in front of you shirtless. To beat the heat, he claims. What you do next is pure muscle memory. With all the activities lined up, you're always wearing a sports bra or a bikini top underneath your shirt. Maybe it was the climate fogging up your brain. Maybe it was the fact that you were living out of a backpack and clothes were everywhere. But today, of all days, you aren't wearing anything. So there you are, not only flashing your boyfriend, but also not being aware of it.

****************************************************

"Um, honey. This isn't gonna help me much with the heat. In fact, it's gonna be worse.”. You're surprised that he would get so flustered over what you had on and glance down. With a quiet yelp, you cross your arms over your chest. Oscar moved next to you, rubbing your back and reassuring you that there's nothing to be embarrassed about. He gives your forehead kisses,his lips trail to your cheeks and your mouth. One thing leads to another, and his face is practically buried in your neck. Between bites, he'd say you have “perfect fucking tits”, calling you stunning and breathtaking. Oscar pulls you into his lap, and you see that he's not all talk, but also all action. As you grind against his hardon, he tells you.

“Well, that's not gonna fix itself, is it?”. You go still for a moment and he thinks he's fucked it all up. His horny brain took over the rational one, but now he had to dial it down.

“I mean, it could fix itself, if you need. It's totally okay if you aren't ready to go any further.” he backtracks.

“No, I mean, it just took me by surprise, that's all. Now I'm short circuiting between all the things I've been fantasizing about. And apparently I'm not shutting the fuck up, despite being so embarrassed I wanna die.” you reply, obviously really excited by this development.

“Yeah? Tell me what you want from me. Please, wanna hear you.” he asks and you're reminded why you like him so much.

“Is this a time to quote Mark Webber about the Australian kiss? I mean, when in Rome, right?”

“Never thought I would be having to think about my mentor with a raging boner. Okay, now that I've said that, it's cursed, let me just shut up and do what I've been wanting to do.”

Oscar's rambling ended with kisses from your chest down to your cunt. When his lips find your clit, it's electrifying. Yet, he's there, making sure you feel good, while getting nothing in return. You know sex doesn't have to work like it always does. You know that it's not always an equal amount of pleasure distributed even among the people having it. Yet, you know that if your boyfriend keeps eating you out, you'll have the best orgasm of your life, followed by the best sleep of your life. So you take matters into your own hands. Or should we say, mouth?

“Oscar, come here. As hot as it is to see you between my legs, let's change up this position, shall we?”

He agrees because he doesn't really care about the logistics of this, he had a taste of you, and now he's starved. So you move your thighs on either side of his head like earmuffs. You wait, just a moment for him to make the first move. As you lick a stripe down (or is it technically up here?) his cock, you feel him groan against you. God really has favorites, you think as you slowly tease the head with your tongue. But your wonderful boyfriend isn't about to make this into a long session. Nope, he's frantic, intense, hands on your thighs, spreading you open. His tongue is more than enough, yet he adds a finger and you're ready to just come right there. Well two could play at that game.

You take him deeper, slightly gagging as he hits the back of your throat. And that makes him even more insatiable. His touches slow, yet his hips move up ever so slightly. Absolutely filling your mouth with his cock. It's a bit rough, but exactly what you need to come on his tongue. He fuck you through it, not pulling away until his own cum is in your throat.

5 minutes and some post sex boring stuff later, and you're in his arms, as he praises you for being so good and doing so well for him. This was a trip you'd definitely remember. It's quiet but filled with crackling energy, like Oscar himself.

Fernando Alonso - You and Fernando had a bet. It was a bit unusual, but he requested to have you go out clubbing with him and the team after his DNFs. Normally, you and him interacted in two ways. The first was you doing your job as his assistant, keeping him on track about his commitments. The second was behind closed doors. Where the older man would be busy pinning you to a wall and kissing you. The club would be a dangerous threshold. Who would you be there? Well, in Mexico, you found out. 

Nando's weekend was shaping up to be unpredictable. From missing media day, to celebrating his 400th Grand Prix, to the quick end of said race. As soon as he retired to the garage, you were there, asking how you could be useful. You swear there's a mischievous glint in his eyes, yet you brush it off.  He just reminds you of the party bet and asks you to fetch his phone. You comply, and the two of you sit side by side, not talking. You're drafting press release statements and tweets. He's  shopping? When you look his way and ask how he's doing on his post race comments, you see him just close his banking app? Fernando's antics stopped surprising you long ago. Or so you thought. 

You're back at the hotel with half a mind to just lay down in the nice bed and not move until the flight. But someone from reception hands you a luxurious shopping bag and says that this was just delivered for you earlier. You thank them and bring it up to your room. You take the elegantly crafted Channel box and open it. You don't wanna think what just the shipping on this thing was. It's a dress. A gorgeous, Aston Martin green dress. That looks like it could be used as a fancy cocktail napkin. You look at the note "For tonight, - F". You really cannot say no to this. 

Yet you barely have it on your body. Nando bought this with only himself in mind. He didn't consider that it had thin straps and a plunging neckline. Which you could live with, if it wasn't also riding up every time you took a step.And of course, Nando picked a practically backless number, so you couldn't even wear a bra. 

You don't belong. In the taxi with your boss, who's also your boyfriend, Lance and his "new female friend". You're kinda squished in the back between the two men, as Fernando can't help but pull you closer to him. You'd be in his lap, if it was up to him. But even though his teammate could keep a secret, the girl in the front seat was worrying you. 

"Why did you pick up a grid bunny before your breakup with Lou was announced? Lance, I don't wanna see cheating rumors tomorrow on Instagram. " you say, in French. Thank fuck for your parents pushing you to learn that in school. 

"She's gonna pose as your friend when we walk in. After that, I can be sneaky. And you? Did Nando give you a big tip to get you here tonight, or what? You never come out with us." the young man implied something. You chose to ignore his innuendo. 

"He has his traditions, I don't wanna upset him. You know how he gets when he's sulky." 

You also dismiss that Fernando had wrapped his arm against your waist and that his grip had been tightening ever since you mentioned his name. 

"You're gonna crease my dress, Mr. Alonso." you commented. 

"Look who speaks English. Thought French was the official cab language." he's mad and you can sense it in his tone.  

"I'm sorry sir, we just needed a quick word about security. Figured it was best not to bother you. As I said to Mr. Stroll, we don't wanna be spotted and all over social media tomorrow." you clarify.

"Of course. But some things you have to let everyone know. Or else they might get the wrong idea. Besides, don't I pay you to tell me things" He continued. You were gonna need to also use your broken Spanish, you guessed. Duolingo had nothing on you. Taming your boyfriend was on your bingo card, but not like this. Not in front of an audience. You pray that the girl can't focus on both giving directions and snooping on you.

"Are you jealous? Over him? " you ask.

"I'm gonna ruin you tonight" he states, then his words consisted of something about everyone and seeing. Before you could probe further into his head, the cab driver stopped. He dropped you off on the empty street, far away from the lights or a queue. After a bit of a walk and through a back door you found yourself in the club. 

Fernando was a party animal(we've all seen the NYE pictures with George Russel). You left him to be in his zone. You, on the other hand, glued yourself to a bar seat, slowly getting through a cocktail, water, water and then another cocktail. You occupied your hands with incessantly checking the gossip sites. So far, you were in the clear. 

"You gonna spend all night here? Shame, when you look like this." a familiar voice says next to you.

"Lance, what a surprise. I'm sure your companion is also dressed nicely. You should tell her this." you reply, not willing to entertain him.

"She's not much of a talker. Anyway, she went to the bathroom." You glance at the line and spot the girl there. You will her to come back and ask the driver pestering you to take her home. She, unsurprisingly, cannot read your mind. 

"Dance with me." He continues. It's no use for you to argue when you know just how rarely he hears no. Besides, you could use some movement. You stand up, and don't miss his eyes trailing up your legs as you pull your dress down. You sway your body to the rhythm, a little stiffly, but you get it. For a good minute you forget all your worries. You're just dancing with a very drunk coworker. That's normal. The strap of your dress falls down your shoulder, and Lance reaches out to fix it. You think nothing of it. In a second, you feel a hand on your waist, pulling you away from the driver. You're frozen, not knowing whether to scream or try to fight. Then the man behind you says 

"Why was he touching you, doll? Why did Lance have his hands on what's mine?". It's Fernando. He had been the one pulling you away. You're still too stunned to speak. When you finally go back to your senses, you reply. 

"You can't just do that, you grabbed me, I was terrified. What if it hadn't been you,what if it was some stranger." Tears are on the corners of your eyes and he just takes you outside through the same back door you came in. 

"I'm sorry." he says as you're still crying outside. He's calling a taxi and you still can't calm down, won't get close to him or touch him. "I'm sorry for not thinking. I'm sorry for letting the jealousy get to me. I'm sorry for not telling you it was me and that we're going. I'm so scared of losing you that I didn't care.". Your hiccups dissipate and you finally look at him.

"It's gonna be okay, Nando. Just the whole thing has been fucking insane. Can you come here and hug me? This fucking stupid dress of yours is making me so cold." you reply. 

"It's a pretty dress. And you wear it well." he notes, as he wraps his arms around you.

"Can't fucking believe you had to drag me out of the club because Lance was drunk and sad about his breakup.". You're ignoring his flirting, because you know you'd melt back into his arms soon. And you're not sure if he deserves it. 

"You didn't seem to be having much fun there anyway." He observes and you're happy that he's had the time and decency to check up on you. Suddenly you realize that all he's done tonight is try to show you off and care for you. 

"Well, I never got to dance with you. Or have you sneakily pull me off to the side and kiss me. Which you can still do." You say, suddenly in a good mood. 

"You sure you want a kiss now? I can wait, if you're still upset at me, doll." He asks. 

“Well aren't you so chivalrous. Kiss me, Fernando. Before our can driver comes and sees.” you whisper, your words only between him, you and the night air. 

Not needing you to tell him twice, he tilts your chin up and kisses you. In a second, it's all tongue and bites and his hands move to your ass. The fucking dress he bought you was paying off by the minute. He had agreed with you to wait before making your relationship physical. Tonight, he would try to not wait anymore. But it was all up to you. You who was currently gripping his shirt like your life depended on it, trying to get your hands under it. Maybe Lance did you both a favor. Nando would have to send him a candy basket or something. 

The Uber Black honked his horn and caused you to break apart. You got in first. The makeout must have been too heated. Or maybe it was your flats tripping you up. But the second you tried to get in the backseat, you face planted. Your legs akimbo gave your boyfriend the best view of his life. You, in the dress he picked out, with no fucking panties. You righted yourself and managed to sit down properly. Fernando got it next to you. When the cab driver gasped in recognition, your boyfriend just sighed, got out a pen from his jacket pocket and offered to sign anything for all the friends and family. 

"Hey man, look if you put on the music really loud, so me and my assistant can discuss work and put up the privacy screen, you'll be lucky you drove me tonight.". The other man silently agreed and as soon as you couldn't be seen, Nando's lips were on your neck. 

"You know, doll, you shouldn't be so clumsy. Because now that I've seen you, I don't think I can hold back from touching you. What do you say? Do you wanna feel good? You want me to make you see stars in this cab?" 

You nodded, all worries gone. Your body needed him. And it was gonna get him. 

As soon as he got a yes, Fernando's hand was between your legs. His fingers expertly rubbed your clit as he told you how wet you were for him, how good you were, how he was gonna make sure your greedy pussy was gonna get what she needed. His fingers were moving in and out of you, and just about as you were going to cum, the car stopped. The music lowered. The driver simply said "Sir, we've reached your destination.". Fernando groaned and slipped all the bills from his wallet. 

"Look, there's a great 24h restaurant right next to the hotel we're currently behind. How about you grab yourself something to eat and I'll come back when we're done with the car. " . Again, the driver agreed and silently tossed the keys in the back. Nando caught them and pulled you into his lap. Undoing his jeans, and boxers, he holds up a condom. Reading your mind, he explains "men's bathroom in the club" and then asks you "Wanna do the honors, pretty girl? Wanna feel my cock before I put it in?". You did, so you acted. As you roll on the condom, you move and also sink down on his cock. You try to move, but his hands grip your hips and stop you. 

"No, doll. You're just gonna stay like this for a while and feel me inside of you. As a little reminder of who you're dating." 

"Nando, again with the dick measuring contest?" You say, your face scrunching up. 

"I don't need a contest to know, I'm big." He fucking moves, jackhammering into you, making you feel him deep. "Now, I just like to admire you, is that a crime? Don't think so. Let me clear up a few things and I'll make you come so hard you forget about everything else. Lance Stroll doesn't fucking intimidate me. I know he cannot fucking compare to me on any level. Same goes to any other man that tries to hit on you. Right now you are mine. And since I can't show you off, they have no idea who they're dealing with. But you do. So every time someone else tries to get what's mine, you'll be getting a reminder just like this. That Fernando is better than them." . With the last sentence he starts moving again. With one hand on your waist and the other on your clit, he makes you cum, and he follows about a minute later. 

The next morning, you regroup at the airport. Lance is so hungover that he has absolutely no recollection of last night. Nando says that the night was great, but he really enjoyed the taxi back home, too. He winks at you, and you swear that was a premeditated murder. 

[fanfichubcircuit]

Bullfrog Alphabet NSFW 18+

While I'm working on the Bullfrog x Reader here's my sexy Bullfrog HCs to tide y'all over. Enjoy!

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Bullfrog is a very sweet person so aftercare can range from laying together talking before sleep to rubbing your sore muscles and cleaning you up. Whatever your comfort level is and whatever you need. You’d probably have to be forward and ask him what he needs. He also has like any juice or Powerade type deal you could want after.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs)

Non-sexually he likes his eyes the best. He thinks they’re nice and bright and loves making them pop with his eyeliner. When it comes to the bedroom his tongue is his favorite. It’s really large and soft so his partners enjoy it, and he loves the excuse to taste who he’s with. If you have a size kink, he can definitely satisfy it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with it)

You could literally cum anywhere on him. The only rules are no eyes, nose, or ear holes that just sucks. He likes feeling the proof that you enjoyed it and secretly he likes being marked by it. He wants to mark you too across your stomach and thighs or your back and ass (He couldn’t reach your face if he wanted to). If he gets to cum inside he wants to hold it in. And if you gently wipe some of yours on his face he’ll melt.

D = Dirty secret(s)

He totally stole your underwear. You two had been hot and heavy the night before so it was covered in you. It’s the only thing he’s never asked you permission for, but he was going on a mission solo and wanted you there, so he figured this was the next best thing. Throughout the whole ordeal of sneaking into that facility he kept shoving his face into your underwear to fill his lungs with you. He’s a little sex freak, but he’s YOUR little sex freak. Besides you two were well established at this point he didn’t think much about it.

The other secret he thinks about waaaay too much in his opinion. He had a dream that you clamped a spiked dog collar on his neck and dragged him around, complimenting him in a demeaning tone. You roughed him up and made him beg for a leash. He woke up in a sweat, confused, and blindingly hard. He’s not new to rough sex or the talk the leash stuff however makes him feel.. guilty. He’s very open minded when it comes to sexuality, but being a hybrid the whole leash thing felt like something he shouldn’t want. He totally revisits it when he touches himself.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Before his guild sect of the brotherhood was wiped out, back when he was first training with all the others in his age group. A bunch of super athletic young adults in close quarters all the time? Yeah. It was as randy as the Olympics. As he got older and moved away from the guild’s main compound he kept in touch with his fellow assassins as fuck buddies until.. well. He also had his fair share of romantic flings and one-night stands. Bullfrog knows his work is dangerous so he’s not ever afraid to shoot his shot. He wants to enjoy life as much as he can and he wants whatever partner he’s with to be as happy as possible as well and with his plethora of experience he is very good at keeping people happy.

F = Favorite position

He loves when you’re on top and pin him down with your hands and your body. But he also loves 69’ing so whatever creative position makes that magic happen he’d be over the moon for. Definitely wants to combine the two. You’re scared of smothering him? “A truly honorable way to go, but I am much too strong for that.”

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? More humorous?)

He loves to keep you happy and isn’t afraid to be silly. Anything embarrassing that happens turns into a shared laugh before jumping back into things. Any anxieties he jokes away with you. He can be serious too, but he sees the value in both. It’s sex, and his ego isn’t fragile, he’s not afraid to laugh. He loves having fun with you.

H = Hang-Ups (Stuff to Work through possibly) Replacing Hair

See the Collar Dream*. Bullfrog is very leveled out, but he’s not the best at focusing on himself. He loves to give, but you will have to remind him to be selfish sometimes and voice what he wants more.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? Romantic wise)

He is very intimate even when he’s silly. Being able to laugh and smile with you is a big part of it for him. But he also loves peppering your skin with kisses, tracing patterns into your skin, and if you’re down with eye contact he’s going to give you loads of soft heated looks up through his eyelashes. And the talk during? He’s either sweetly complimenting you or talking about your future together with such confidence you know no matter what Eden throws at you two you can handle it.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation Headcanon)

He uses his bubbles to relive past times instead of watching porn. He can also suck himself off he’s that flexible.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He has so many. But a few top ones are he loves to be teased and denied. He also likes being rough with each other as long as it’s safe. His absolute favorite is knife play with his hidden blades. The fact that you would trust him so much when he’s so dangerous really gets him going. He doesn’t even need to cut you just having it laying against your neck while he’s in you is enough to make him lose his mind. He would love to cut off your clothes beforehand. He would let you choke him or step on his dick. But if you’re not a fan of rough stuff he doesn’t mind just being soft with you. He is top/bottom sub/dom whatever floats your boat. He loves giving you what you want. Having the power to bring you pleasure. Also wants to watch you masturbate or get dicked down. Not as a cuckold thing, he just wants to watch you in pleasure and doesn’t mind sharing.

L = Location (Where?)

Where do you want to do it? He can probably make it happen. If it’s a crowded room with no hiding spots it might be up in the rafters though. Hope you’re not scared of heights.

M = Motivation (What turns them on?)

Anytime you do something that’s super cute or just reminds him of why he loves you he’s already planning what to do to you when you two have a moment. He just won’t tell you. Unless you like being teased as much as he does. That’s the other part of it if you try to turn him on you’ve already succeeded. Even if you totally fell on your face, he would find it way too cute.

N = No (Hard and Soft boundaries)

Hard Boundaries: No big wounds and nothing dangerous or permanent. He likes things a little rough, but he’s not a maniac about it. He doesn’t like being outright cruel either. He’ll tease, but it never goes that deep emotionally. Soft Boundaries: He doesn’t like roleplaying as other people. He’ll roleplay different scenarios about how y’all first banged etc. all day, but he doesn’t want to ‘be someone else’. If he’s gotta be a pizza delivery guy it’s going to be him as a pizza guy not some dweeb named Paul.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Already stated in B, but his tongue is so big and soft. King of oral. Loves to go down on you and loves to receive. He really likes 69’ing because then the two of you can get lost in each other, but it’s a difficult pose to find with the size difference. Wants to see how much he can fit in you.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

After a high stress mission or long time apart absolutely fast and rough, but if he’s feeling romantic slow and sensual. Either way if you want something and voice it it’s yours. The pace is whatever you want.

Q = Quickie (How do they feel about it?)

Hand stuff and oral absolutely is a go whenever and wherever as long as you two aren’t in mortal danger. Full on penetration though? Nope. Not quickie material. Quickies in his mind are fast and free. Just giggling and touching each other without being super complicated.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

Absolutely. He’s confident bordering on cocky when it comes to his skill set. You want to fuck in a space you’re not supposed to? He can get y’all there and keep you hidden. You want to try a new kink? He’s probably had experience in it and if not he’s a quick learner. He risks his life all the time. Risk in sex is a cake walk.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go?)

More than you.

T = Toys (Do they own any toys?)

Absolutely. He has some for himself, and some to use with a partner. A good assassin isn’t afraid to take advantage of his tools.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He’s very teasing when it comes to his flirting, but pulls back when it comes to the bedroom until you prove you can take it.

V = Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

His breathes get heavy during, but if you’re doing your job, you could ring some sweet cries out of him. He’s not afraid to get vocal.

W = Wild card (Random Headcanon)

He knows how to pull. He’s not afraid to be cute and sexy and it is a deadly combo. That sensual look he can throw out just by lowering his eyelids? He knows what he’s doing. He’s making you laugh one minute then you look over to him. He’s on his side, head propped up on his fist so his arm pops, looking at you like that. “Would you like to see how flexible assassins have to be?” Yeah, you were screwed from the start.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He does have a cock I mean he’s a hybrid he’s bipedal and has eyebrows he’s not exactly 100% bullfrog. But he doesn’t have balls and it’s a reddish purple instead of pink or straight red. Smaller than the average I would say about 4 inches, but he’s really thick.

Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Like I said before you being you turns him on. His drive is very high. But he also likes the anticipation so being ready more often than you and having to wait adds a little something extra for him.

Z = Zzz (How fast do they fall asleep?)

He loves pillow talk so most of the time he’s the last out. Unless it’s really cold outside and he’s snuggled against your warmth. He’s out like a light.

[splatsvilles-fashionista]

Splatoon 3 Fashion Challenge - Week 69: Splatoween 2024 Special!

(haha nice)

It's that time of the year again! Only a week remains until Splatoween, and we're gonna put together some costumes!

Special Rule: Using any gear you would like, put together a seasonally appropriate Splatoween costume! You may use any of the Splatoween headwear, if you'd like, but it is not required.

Rules:

Put together an outfit of any kind that you feel matches this week’s theme. Be sure to give it a name, as well!

Send it to me via ask or submission, please don’t add it to a reblog, that makes it very easy to miss! Also, please make it clear that it is a submission for the challenge and not just a regular submission.

Only one outfit per person! You can submit multiple photos of that single outfit, though.

Please include the gear you picked in the submission. It makes my life just a touch easier!  

The deadline for outfit submissions is 10 PM UTC on Tuesday!

[blind-althea]

(If you have this handy application on your phone called Spotify, I recommend listening to this)

Yes, I am blind. My name is Althea. That’s pretty much it. I can’t see a damn thing, but I can hear every ridiculous, self-destructive plan Deadpool cooks up. I’m the one who cleans up his messes and deals with the aftermath of his lunacy. If you’re looking for someone who’s got no filter and a front-row seat to the circus that is Deadpool’s life, you’ve found me. Just don’t expect me to sugarcoat anything

Who is Deadpool? He’s the psycho mercenary who thinks he’s the star of a fucked-up action movie. He’s got the mouth of a sailor, the morals of a dumpster fire, and a talent for getting himself into all kinds of trouble. Basically, he’s a walking, talking disaster zone with a penchant for breaking every rule he can find. And guess what? I’m the poor soul who has to deal with the fallout and try not to lose my mind in the process.

He’s also my roommate… @merc-with-a-mouth-69

Being part of the household with Dogpool? Well, it’s surprisingly not the worst thing. Sure, she’s a little slobbery and I’ve tripped over her more times than I can count, but… shes got a weird charm. She’s loyal, quiet—unlike her idiot owner—and she actually seems to know when I need a break from all the chaos. It’s kinda nice, having her around. Don’t tell anyone I said that, though—I’ve got a reputation to keep. @dogpool-puppins

_ _ _

How did I end up on this god forbidden platform? Wade told me to get a life.. well I already have and now I’m here.

More looney toon maniacs:

@deadpool-roleplay-blog @deadpool-in-wolverine @dead-marveljesus-pool @dead-in-the-pool @deadpool-wade-wilson @wade-wilson-deadpool-bugaloo @wadewilsonposting @wade-wilson-deadpool @nice-pool @wheelbarrowofstagefourcancer @merc-with-the-m0uth @mercwithamouth-wade @maximum-bugaloo-2nd @official-wanda-wilson @gothpool @wadebutoncrack @dance-pool @somewhat-deadpool @kidpool-the-underapreciated @you-have-been-babypooled @deadpool-original

(They all owe me some sugar)

[quicktosimp]

Aonung - NSFW ABC

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

This man loves you to death, but once he’s done the act, he’s asleep in minutes. He’ll try and take care of you, but most likely, you will be cleaning yourself up to the sounds of his snores.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

For Aonung, it’s gonna be his hair. All throughout the movie, Aonung’s hair is in pristine condition, and salt water does some damage to your hair, yet he always looks shiny and healthy; he definitely cares for it well.

For his lover, he loves their hips. Lovely wide hips that sway as you walk. Totally not thinking about how those hips will hold his child…

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Aonung isn’t specific on cum; he prefers to do it inside but is also fine cumming anywhere.

D= Dominate (how dominate are they)

Acts like a tough man with strict rules, but is a complete simp for you. You can see the hearts in his eyes even when he scolds you. He is more likely to pout and sulk than actually dominate or scold you.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

At one point was 100% a playboy, so many girls and gut were throwing themselves at him, and Aonung didn’t say no. So, in theory, he is physically. But before you, Aonung never had an emotional relationship. So while he can rock your body into next week, he’s still learning the emotional ropes.

F= Favorite position

69, Aonung loved being able to eat your pussy while you please him. It doesn’t matter if you’re Na’vi or human; he will scrunch up to fit in a 69.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

Surprisingly, I think Aonung has a bit of a funny bone. He won’t hesitate to giggle a bit when he’s kissing you. Why wouldn’t he? Aonung is giddy to be able to kiss you.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

Just like before, if the Na’vi have pubic hair, then Aonung is probably going to be in pristine condition. Perfectly shaped, shaved, and not a hair out of place.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

Definitely loves having a romantic moment with you, sweet lovemaking (with the goal of breeding you), but if he gets the chance to dick you down on the beach, on an ilu, Aonung doesn’t care he’ll do it.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

Absolutely, Aonung will jack off multiple times a day if he can’t find you. Aonung has mastered sneaking away from the crowd so he can handle his problem.

K= Kink (kinks they like, possibly unusual)

100% breeding kink, but he also secretly loves anal. Something about it being forbidden, and knowing that no one else has been there before.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

Aonung has no preferences, beach, ocean, his marui, or someone else's marui… he doesn’t care as long as he has you.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

Anything. Aonung is always ready to go; just the change in the wind and Aonung is itching to go.

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

Hurt you. Aonung will never lay a hand on you, not one spank, rough hair pull, nothing. The idea of seeing you hurt because of him is enough to make him sick.

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

Like I said, this man loves to 69. He is an overhyped puppy when faced with your pussy, eager to please, and never wants to leave from between your legs.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

I don’t think Aonung knows how to stop? He will keep going until his cock is raw and then will still try and fuck you a bit more.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

While Aonung prefers a nice romantic time with you, he will take what he can get. And if that means bending you over outback near a cove, he will love every minute with you.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

Yes! Aonung is willing to try almost anything with you! There are quite a few things he’s interested in but is waiting for you to bring up because he doesn’t want to risk pushing you into it.

S= Stamina

Stamina for days, will fuck you until his cock is raw, and even then, will still try and fuck you some more; fyi, you will need to tell him to stop.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

Aonung will definitely be weary about using human toys; this is the first time having seen human technology. And may take some convincing before he tests them. But once he does, Aonung definitely appreciates what the toys can do but ultimately prefers skin-on-skin and not a toy.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

Aonung has to be in the mood to tease you; most of the time, he isn't. But if you find him in the mood, then his go-to is edging. Bringing you close to the edge again and again is a dream of his. However, Aonung can't resist making you cum.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

Aonung is very vocal during sex; between moans, whines, growls, purrs, and talking, Aonung is always in your ear.

W= Wild card

Aonung loves to do it in the water. This boy is an aquaphiliac. Seeing you pose for him in the water gets him going like nothing else.

X= X-ray

Aonung has nothing to be shy about, packing a good 22 inches (56cm).

Y= Yearning

He doesn't stop, if you even look at him with the hint of bedroom eyes, and his tewng is on the floor. Aonung is ready morning, noon, and night; doesn't matter. And if you even think about falling asleep horny because you didn't want to wake him up at 2 in the morning, you will have a sulky boy on your hands.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

You have maybe 4 minutes if you're lucky...

🎶And another one bites the dust🎶

Still sick and bored, send me an idea?

Dividers by: @cafekitsune

[utilitycaster]

This campaign does have wizards aplenty, from our allies and guests (let's hope someone can fix Ryn; wonder how Vasselheim is treating Prism) to the antagonistic figure of the millennium himself, Ludinus Da'leth. And Halas is, of course, still in his gem. I have briefly touched on them, in fact, when they converged upon Tishtan to fuck around and find out. But this isn't about them.

Whose world is at stake here? Who is being shaken at their very foundation? Who is out here kicking ass, taking names, making pacts, and killing birds? And so it's my dubious and self-inflicted honor to present:

The Cleric and Paladin Breakdown Tracker

Episode 69

(nice)

The rules, for those not familiar with the shifting set of guidelines I frequently employed: this is a non-exhaustive list (that means that if I don't have anything funny to say about an NPC we haven't seen in 20 episodes do not ask me where they are. they haven't been seen in 20 episodes). Spinoffs into sorcerer, druid, or other territory may occur as the plot demands, but for the time being we're sticking with the god squad.

Weva Vudol: Matt described her genesis as a person who abides by the Andrew W. K. creed; she does what she likes and she likes what she does. While adherents of the Raven Queen are probably having a rough time of it, no resurrection does mean Speak with Dead is probably having a real moment right now, and honestly she's weird enough to possibly dig the vibes of Jrusar at the moment. 4/10.

Deanna Leimert: It's been a few days but I suspect things are still highly tense between her and Sunny D, and going to God City Central probably doesn't give her much time to relax and regroup. Also I have to imagine Vasselheim is going to be MAD WEIRD about an aeormaton and a wizard. 7/10. Holding it together but I bet any stitches of her knitting right now are impossibly tight (if that's how knitting works idk I'm a crocheter myself)

FRIDA: Speaking of, here's the aeormaton themself! They were feeling bad upon separating from FCG. They needn't have worried (see below) but they don't know that, and yeah I think the vibes in Vasselheim for them are going to be iffy already and the fact that the city is (highly understandably given their history) going into lockdown, probably a bit on edge! Hopefully Bells Hells remembers to ask Keyleth to give them a message or something. 7/10. (She's not on here but I like to think that Prism is THRIVING despite having frowned-upon magic. I think she's having a GREAT time, and I hope she joins the Slayer's Take, I think it would be good for her.)

Unnamed Duskmaven Cleric in Jrusar: I do not know why the Duskmaven clerics dress like Sofina Honoramongthievesvillain, but they do. Anyway rather like Weva Vudol, while things are bad I think that the Raven Queen's clerics tend to have a sort of implacable calm about them (see also Lieve'tel, who is not on this list). 4/10.

Teven Klask: Too hot to be bothered. A little confused by the edicts of Asmodeus re: the truce though. Just like a Betrayer to not explain the situation. 3/10.

Yu Suffiad: I love when people think Yu was some kind of genius of strategy because not only did they get figured out by a tiny unhinged werewolf gnome man, they, far more crucially, bargained away the artifact needed to power the Malleus Key until after the solstice. Literally their entire mission was "hey we need this object before the solstice, to be used in a machine on the solstice, for the solstice" and they were like yeah I'll get it in a month, sounds fair, and then the people they let get away destroyed the machine that was supposed to use it. Anyway with that in mind I'm assuming their dumb ass got shoved into a mirror by Zathuda, whom I would like to see again, because the return of the Silt Verses has reminded me that menace in a Scottish accent is always a fun time. 9/10.

FCG: You know, bit of a rollercoaster for them! He's had some good Commune answers and some less so Divination answers; he can't get drunk; the Staff of Dark Odyssey did NOT play nice; Dancer's still understandably afraid of him; Shithead has finally been lay to rest. I think it's going to be straight down the middle for a while, honestly; such is the nature of adventuring. 5/10.

Pike Trickfoot: Zero idea of her mood right now actually, like I assume Sarenrae has been freaking out but that's the extent of it, so she's here more because either she is blissfully unaware that Delilah was below detectable levels when Laudna came back, in which case like 4/10, or she has been harboring a dark secret in which case more like 8/10.

Jester Lavorre: SENDING IS DOWN THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN 10/10

Caduceus Clay: I have to imagine the Wildmother has made her concerns clear. Also, Molaesmyr was, when last we left it, sort of on fire, which can't be like, great for him. Time to see if 7 years have improved upon his coping mechanisms. 7/10.

Fjord: Improbably, a wildcard. Given that Jester's probably freaking out, pushed into a position of stability and calm; given that the gods are definitely freaking out, the Empire is wilding out, and also that I would be shocked if Caleb and Beau didn't let the others in the Nein know that if they don't hear from them for a while, pushed in a position of running around waving his hands like Kermit. 6/10 but specifically taken as an average of 3/10 and 9/10.

Vax'ildan: technically I don't know if he still counts like a paladin but doing so for reasons of comedy. Anyway, not sure what you can give a bowling ball full of screams but an 11/10.

[randomvarious]

French Trip Hop Playlist

Well, folks, I'm a little annoyed here, because my general rule with these playlist posts is that a playlist needs to have at least 10 songs, and this one did have 10 songs at one point, but the powers that be at Spotify decided to remove a couple of them, and I can't replace them, so here I am posting a playlist that has under 10 songs 😣.

But I've got an update for it that brings us back up to 9: Paris native Kid Loco's "Flyin' on 747," a sweet, dreamy, and silky cut that first appeared as the closing track on his own brilliant DJ-Kicks mix for German label !K7 in 1999. Most of that mix is super duper, out-of-its-mind stoned, but this tune in particular is just a very relaxing and head-nod-inducing, cinematic piece of late 90s string-keys-and-hand-drum chillout 😌. And it has a little turntablism on it too. Currently at over 2.55M plays.

Kid Loco - "Flyin' on 747"

And I added this same song to the YouTube version of this playlist too. Normally I have other songs to add to these YouTube versions that can't be found on Spotify, but none this week. However, the songs that were removed from the Spotify version are still on this YouTube one, so if you wanna hear a couple more dusted, molasses-slow gems from the great DJ Cam, or a sweet, trumpet-laced groove from a guy from Versailles named Bang Bang, who was in a high school band with the two guys who would go on to form Air as well as Alex Gopher, give it a listen!

And this playlist is also on YouTube Music.

So this little update brings us up to 9 songs that clock in at almost 50 minutes on Spotify, but over on YouTube, we now have 13 songs that clock in at a nice 69 minutes 😎.

And I have some more French trip hop playlists too, in case you want to get more specific:

1990s French Trip Hop: YouTube / YouTube Music Île-de-France Trip Hop: YouTube / YouTube Music 1990s Île-de-France Trip Hop: YouTube / YouTube Music Paris Trip Hop: YouTube / YouTube Music

Leaving electronic music for a while with these weekly playlist posts after this one. Next week we'll have 90s punk rock!

Enjoy!

More to come, eventually. Stay tuned!

Like what you hear? Follow me on Spotify and YouTube for more cool playlists and uploads!

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - ten | F, senpai

You sat, like every other time you streamed, in front of your computer with the room lights off, but a strip of soothing red LEDs on so you could still see your desk. You were a faceless streamer and could comfortably sit in the darkness since no one needed to see you. Your blue light blocking glasses rested on your nose as you set up the chat and everything else you needed for a hard night’s work of being silly on the internet.

“Oooookay. Can you hear me guys? One, two. One, two. Mic check, mic check. Sob in the mob with the Rob Bob Bob?”

A few people in the chat helpfully answered that your audio sounded too quiet. You adjusted it.

“How about that? Price check on prune juice, Bob. Price check on prune juice.”

Everyone started sending thumbs ups and happy faces, with a few saying “You’re good!”

“Thank you, kittens. I guess I have to do the intro, huh.” You took a breath and - as fast as you could - said: “Hey everyone it’s Jageun Geomeun Goyangi, JGG, the Little Black Cat, coming to you live out there in radioland. We got a great stream tonight; a few indie games, I might play an old favorite, who knows where the night will take us? I hope you enjoy the stream and I hope you enjoy the jokes and remember, no backseat gaming., or I’ll turn this car around! If you like the video, like it, if you dislike it, dislike it, but let’s waste no further time and get to gaming.”

You paused. and inhaled deeply.

“How long was that?”

This was an odd little game that developed between you and your chat. When you first started, you tried to make your intro as personable as possible and it just got longer and and more ridiculous. Now you said it as fast as possible to see if you could beat your best time.

The times rolled in.

LeaBea: 0:8.02 TheNicestGuy: 0:0:7.57 QuackIsWhack✅: 0:0:8.22 🗻of Namhae: 0:0:7.58 YangYangGangGang: 0:0:8.15 SleepySheepy😴: 69:69:69.69

“SleepySheepy you’re so full of shit,” you laughed. “But also: nice, nice, nice, nice.”

SleepySheepy😴: LOLOL

“And what’s with the disparities guys? I felt like that was under eight seconds and you’re all giving me weird numbers.”

🗻of Namhae: You didn’t tell us when to start, lol

“That’s true Namhae, I should start giving signals. That’s my fault. Anyway, we got a good stream for you tonight, a few indie games, I might play an old favorite--” You laughed.

🗻of Namhae: 😞 LeaBea: LOL SleepySheepy😴: F WackIsQuack: Haha! QuackIsWhack✅: Change your fucking name back, I swear to god

“No name trolling, you know the rules, ladies, men, and nonbinary friends: Be nice in the chat, the world is already too harsh.”

JohnnyYuta: Sorry, Quack QuackIsWhack✅: Thank you

“Okay, let’s see… if Keeho is alive… and awake. And then we can see who else wants to stream.”

JohnnyYuta: He’s already streaming A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: He’s been streaming all day QuackIsWhack✅: You know what that means…

“I don’t have enough money to buy chicken nuggets?”

The chat flooded with emojis of potatoes that were meant to be chicken nuggets. Truly a crime against humanity that there wasn’t a nugget emoji.

A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 🗻of Namhae: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 QuackIsWhack✅: You gotta kill him

“I will, Quack… or should I say: Shane Madej. And then you can trap him in your ribcage like the demon you are.”

QuackIsWhack✅: LOL

“But if JohnnyYuta and Tree saw that he’s streaming already, let’s go raid him. Send him: the nuggets.”

You navigated over to Keeho’s Twitch page to find him, as your spies informed correctly, already streaming. As you and your chat made your way over to his, and his chat was suddenly filled with the same message of five nuggets in a row, over and over again.

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 QuackIsWhack: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 🗻of Namhae: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 TheNicestGuy: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 I💚Keeho: Heyyyy, it’s Cat! A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 JohnnyYuta: The jig is up! JohnnyYuta: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 StrickenChicken: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 UltimateHyung✅: Oh noooo~~ a raid~~ lol UltimateHyung✅: Whatever shall we do with all these nuggets! I💚Keeho: Hi Cat! 👋 There’sARockInMySock: Cat!! 🗻of Namhae: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 QuackIsWhack: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 MinHoe: Sheepy, I thought you weren’t awake now?? SleepySheepy😴: I fucking LIED lol MinHoe: lol

“There’s what in the chat?” Keeho looked up from his game. “Ohh, Cat's on! Hi Cat!”

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: ACCEPT OUR NUGGETS!! 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔

“Accept nothing. Accept my Discord invite, you pest.”

Di-Dng!

“Hiiiiiiiii~~,” you sang.

“What’s going on, Cat?”

“Nothing much. I thought you said you weren’t starting before now?”

“Ummm, did you hear there’s a new map in Tale of Tails?”

“That weirdo gumiho gacha MMO you play?”

“Yes.”

You laughed. “No, because it’s a weirdo game for weirdos. Like yourself: a weirdo.”

“Okay, there’s no need to go so hard, what are my fans going to think?”

“That you’re a weirdo.”

“You can just admit you’re jealous, Cat.”

“I have no desire, nor need, to admit such a thing.”

He laughed. “I’ll get you hooked on it one day.”

“Some of us aren’t rich and can’t buy the best cards, my guy.”

“You don’t need to buy cards, my dude.”

“Is that what you tell yourself every time you hit ‘Purchase,’ champion?”

“It’s what I know, chief.”

QuackIsWhack: The girls are fightingggggggg MinHoe: Sheepy, answer my fucking message SleepySheepy😴: nah fam MinHoe: Don’t you nah fam me SleepySheepy😴: lolol 🗻of Namhae: Oooo MinHoe, so forceful 🗻of Namhae: Kabedon him against the wall next SleepySheepy😴: lolol, senpaiiiii~~~ MinHoe: I hate you, Sheepy MinHoe: 😞😞😞 SleepySheepy😴: 😎😎😎 LuciPURR: Cat, call him “buddy,” “guy” next

“They want me to fight with you more.”

“You just came here to fight with me?”

“No, I came here to fight you… in the realm of games!”

“I’m going to send you to the Shadow Realm!”

Both of you started singing the Mortal Kombat theme.

🗻of Namhae: MORTAL KOMBATTTT QuackIsWhack: daNA daNA daNA TheNicestGuy: daNA daNA daNA A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: DA DA DA DA DA DA DA JohnnyYuta: DA DA DA DA DA DA DA UltimateHyung✅: There’s the traitors UltimateHyung✅: I saw you sell Keeho out in Cat’s chat QuackIsWhack: Yo, but why are you stream sniping, boss? UltimateHyung✅: Are you defending them, Quack? QuackIsWhack: You’re all guilty of the same crime JohnnyYuta: You gotta do what you gotta do to get your fav streamers to stream together lol SleepySheepy😴: You gotta do what you gotta do what you gotta do, you know? LuciPurr: Do the Dew A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: I ship them 🥵 JohnnyYuta: My OTP 🗻of Namhae: guys… TheNicestGuy: GUYS QuackIsWhack: No shipping. I’m the mod, I say so UltimateHyung✅: Not in this house you aren’t QuackIsWhack: In Cat’s chat I am lol UltimateHyung✅: Lol QuackIsWhack: We should migrate back to our own chat anyway

“Thank you, Quack,” you said. “There will be no shipping in this house. Especially not drop shipping.”

“We’re in different houses.”

“There will be no shipping in either of these houses. Only a pox upon them.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m about to ship you with the wall.”

“Ohhh…”

“By slamming your head into it.”

Keeho laughed. “You’d have to be here first. And on camera.”

“Fuck, my one weakness.”

“You’re like a vampire.”

You hissed like Nosferatu.

“Understandable. I’ll set up the game.”

“Kay kay.”

“Kee Kee.”

“Ho Ho.”

“Santa??”

The two of you laughed.

As Keeho invited you to the game he read the chat. “‘Is Cat a vampire?’ Are you a vampire, Cat? Am I friends with a Dracula?”

You hissed into your microphone.

“Is that a cat hiss or a vampire hiss?”

You laughed. “Now I’m not sure.”

Keeho chuckled.

“But I’m a faceless streamer, person-in-Keeho’s-chat.”

“So you’re like a vampire or something and can’t appear on camera.”

“Vampires can’t go out in the sun, dude.”

“Twilight ones can.”

“You’re trying to make a point to me about vampires with the straightest, most boring vampires possible?”

He laughed.

“Where’s your sense of terrifying homoeroticism?”

QuackIsWhack✅: They do be like that tho There’sARockInMySock: The inherent homoeroticism of the vampyr 🗻of Namhae: Vampires are gay?

You laughed. “Yeah, they’re pretty gay, Namhae. At least the good ones are. Bram Stoker was closeted and stuff… he was best friends with Oscar Wilde… you know how it goes. Carmilla was like the OG vampire book and that was about two girls. Anne Rice’s vampires were pretty gay as well.”

“Why do you know so much about vampires?”

“Maybe I’m the Big Titty Goth Girlfriend we’ve all heard so much about. Ever think of that?”

“Then you are shooting yourself in the foot by not having a camera.”

You cackled.

“Plus, I know what you look like, and you’re not.”

“Oh shit, yeah. Damnit, if only we were never friends in real life.”

Keeho laughed loudly. “Let’s go back in time and not be friends, and then I’ll believe it when you say it.”

“Yes, that’s my fucking plan.” You laughed.

QuackIsWhack✅: Anyone who asks about her tits, gets the hammer JohnnyYuta: Dang, Quack JohnnyYuta: Punish me mommy QuackIsWhack✅: You trying to get banned? JohnnyYuta: Absolutely not, ma’am 🧍‍♂️ A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Crack the whip on him! QuackIsWhack✅: Tree? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: No ma’am 🧍‍♂️

“What in the kinkery fuckery is going on in your chat?” Keeho laughed.

“Stop looking at my stream, dude. And I don’t claim them.”

“You have to claim them, they’re your chat.”

“Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

QuackIsWhack✅: Excuse you?

“Quack is my only monkey. I made a circus just for her.”

He laughed.

“She’s been around the longest.”

🗻of Namhae: I’ve been here since the beginning too QuackIsWhack✅: Yeah, haven’t you been here longer than I have?

“Wait, what? Namhae, you’ve been here the longest?”

🗻of Namhae: I think so. I remember back when you only had five subscribers, right when you started 🗻of Namhae: (One was me, btw. lol) QuackIsWhack✅: Yeah, I came in at like, 15 or something lol 🗻of Namhae: Lol 🗻of Namhae: This is the same account from back then too, go check how long I’ve been subbed JohnnyYuta: No lies Namhae? 🗻of Namhae: Lol, why would I lie? Quack can just check QuackIsWhack: Ohhh yeah, lemme check A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Did she have any other fans then? 🗻of Namhae: There was a handful of people 🗻of Namhae: I haven’t seen any of their names in a really long time though QuackIsWhack: Holy shit, you’ve really been here the whole time 🗻of Namhae: See? 😊 A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Yooooooo TheNicestGuy: Wow JohnnyYuta: Oppa! YangYangGangGang: Oppaaaa!

“Ohhhhh shit. You hear that, Keeho? I’ve got someone who’s been here almost as long as me.” You laughed.

“Shit, I’m so jealous. That’s so cool though.”

🗻of Namhae: 😊😊😊

“Aww, cute blushie smiles right back at you, Namhae. You know what? I should make you a mod, since you’re always around.”

🗻of Namhae: Really? 🗻of Namhae: I’d be honored JohnnyYuta: Oh shit TheNicestGuy: Wow… A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Senpai’s noticed him, AND he’s gonna be a mod? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: I’m so fucking jealous

“Well, you know, stay around for five or so years and maybe you’ll become a mod too, Tree.”

A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Goals 🥲🥲🥲 JohnnyYuta: Living the dream, Namhae

“You’re so silly, Tree. Annnnnd, you’re a mod now, Namhae. Quack can message you and tell you the ropes.”

QuackIsWhack✅: We got so many ropes, you’d think it was the Scouts up in here 🗻of Namhae✅: testing…? 🗻of Namhae✅: Oh my god 🗻of Namhae✅: I have a check QuackIsWhack✅: Woowwww JohnnyYuta: Look at himmmm QuackIsWhack✅: How do you feel, Namhae? 🗻of Namhae✅: So special 🥺🥺🥺 A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Ahhh my TT QuackIsWhack✅: lolol 🗻of Namhae✅: 😤😤😤 🗻of Namhae✅: Who needs to get banned? Lemme at em! YangYangGangGang: There’s a new Oppa in town

You chuckled. “You’re funny, Namhae.”

“I’ve seen him in my chat occasionally when you’re not streaming, he cracks me up.”

🗻of Namhae✅: 😳😳😳 JohnnyYuta: BOTH senpais have seen him! 🗻of Namhae✅: I don’t know what to do with all this A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Go crazy! Go stupid! SleepySheepy😴: Go apeshit MinHoe: Sleepy, answer me dammit SleepySheepy😴: 😴😴😴

You laughed at the chat. 

Di-Dng!

Di-Dng!

“Heyyy, BrickTheBracken and MickTheMacken are here!”

“Hey guys,” Keeho said.

“Hey hey,” Bracken and Mick responded.

“Are you guys in the same room again? You’re a little echoey.”

“Sorry,” Bracken responded. “We just moved into the new place and we’re not totally set up yet.”

“I’ll take my laptop to the other room,” Mick offered. A few seconds went by and he could be heard shuffling his headset. “This better?”

“Much better.” Keeho answered.

“Do we know if Yeji or Ryujin are going to show up?” You asked.

“They should,” Bracken offered. “Maybe they had to stay late at their day jobs?”

Di-Dng!

“Don’t even fucking talk about day jobs,” Ryujin exploded into the chat. “I was watching you guys on the way home and I’m so mad I had to stay late. I wanted to be around for the nugget raid.”

You laughed.

“Love a good nug raid.”

🗻of Namhae✅: Everyone loves nugs 🗻of Namhae✅: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 QuackIsWhack✅: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 StrickenChicken: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 UltimateHyung: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 LeaBea: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 JohnnyYuta: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 TheNicestGuy: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 YangYangGangGang: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 LeaBea: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 JohnnyYuta: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 There’sARockInMySock: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 MinHoe: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 LuciPURR: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 JohnnyYuta: All hail the nugs!

“Ryujin, are you watching my chat?”

“I ammmm, thanks guys. Now I really feel like I was at the earlier raid.”

“My chat’s pretty sweet.”

A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: You’re sweet

“Oh, Tree, I’m blushing. My heart just went ‘doki doki,’ dude.”

A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: 😳😳😳

“Can you quit flirting with your chat and accept my invite?” Keeho asked.

“I’m not flirting with anyone. They’re all just lovely people.”

“Uh huh.”

“I don’t see an invite from you.”

“Huh? Oh, I didn’t add you.”

“HA!” You laughed loudly.

QuackIsWhack✅: F A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: F StrickenChicken: F UltimateHyung: F SleepySheepy😴: F I💚Keeho: F LeaBea: F JohnnyYuta: F TheNicestGuy: F There’sARockInMySock: F MinHoe: F 🗻of Namhae✅: F, senpai

“At least Namhae respects me.”

🗻of Namhae✅: I respect you, sunbaenim

“All I need is your respect, Namhae.” Keeho said as he held his fist to his chest and pretended to struggle with his emotions.

You laughed. “Close my stream, dammit!”

“I’m going to close it when we start playing.”

Di-Dng!

“Guys! I made it!” Yeji yelled, winded.

“Okay, okay, calm down.” Keeho responded. “Do you want us to play a round while you get situated or would you rather play now?”

“I need to play something and not think about the printer that I spent like three hours trying to fix because our office didn’t pay a bill and now the printer company won’t come fix it and no one else can or wants to fix it.”

“Holy shit,” you said. “You’re way too pretty for that, Yeji.”

“I knowwww, I should never have become an office worker. I thought it would be easy.”

“Aww, my baby.”

SleepySheepy😴: WE love you, Yeji I💚Keeho: Yejiiiiiii LeaBea: Aww 😥😥😥 There’sARockInMySock: Yeji! 💜💜💜 QuackIsWhack✅: We love you, bubbah A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Yeji is the prettiest JohnnyYuta: Love our girl StrickenChicken: I’m not wlw, but if I was I would pick you, Yeji UltimateHyung: Were I single, I would ask you out in a manly fashion 🗻of Namhae✅: You deserve better, Yeji

“Are you looking at my chat, Yeji?” You asked.

“Ryujin is showing me. Aww, you guys are sweet.”

“You do deserve better.”

“I know… UGH I have to interview somewhere else or make more money streaming so I can leave.”

“I think you can do it. I mean… I never went to college and here I am.”

“Living the dream, Cat.” Ryujin said.

You laughed. “Nah, I’m living the ‘a lot of hard work and a little luck’.”

“Dang right, hard work,” Keeho said emphatically.

“Mhm.”

“Now: Are we finally going to play?”

“Yes!”

   previous | main cast | masterlist | next

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋

[kstormcursed]

(masterpost)

i will be using this tracker:

which means that there are in total 69 locations (nice!), aka 69 Pokemons I can catch in total (one per area - not counting the starter)

since one poll can only have max. 12 options, this means six (6) polls lmao 💀

so my idea was that I make a poll whenever I get twelve names (it's a first-come first-served situation). The poll will only be one day long instead of the one week since it will be used not to decide which names will be used (all of them) but the order in which the pokemon will be names.

So the first pokemon I catch will get the name with the most votes, the second with the second most votes, the 12th I catch will get the name with the least votes etc etc

if two or more names have the same percentage of votes i will catch the pokemon, show a screenshot, and make another one day poll showing only these options

ex.:

[picture pokemon]

WHICH NAME FOR [insert pokemon species]

> option A (had 12% in the og poll)

> option B (also had 12% in the og poll)

> option C (also also had 12%in the og poll)

note that it isn't only character names that can be used!! locations (f.ex. urithiru), events (f.ex. recreance), phenomena (f.ex. everstorm), etc etc can also be submitted! the only rule is that it have something to do with the stormlight archive series - your imagination is the limit !!

first twelve (1-12):

1. stick

2. chiri-chiri

3. spear

4. stormlight

5. honor

6. radiant

7. shallan

8. adolin

9.

10.

11.

12.

[kusigoose]

Day 69 of doodling Hollow Knight characters until Silksong comes out

Heh nice

ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!! STARTING NOW, I WILL BE PAUSING THIS SERIES because I am participating in ARTFIGHT!!! My main focus will be Hollow Knight, so feel free to attack my ocs! Here is my artfight: https://artfight.net/~Kusi

Also, I’m honestly getting a bit burnt out from doing this challenge, so when I return to it after Artfight is over I will be changing the rules I set for myself (some people on Twitter already know heheh) so stick around for that!

[milestailsprowerr1992]

ello it is me mile tails prower (im acttecly eeveegameing1223 sup fuckers i have no shame but this is my frist tumblr account sooo ye this isn't a rp account but i gotta roleplay anyways)

my friends are @grapeloverknuckles (@pngsunny and im friends with them irl) @the-ultimate-life-form-69 (there actlly nice irl) @rouge-the-bat-real (hopefully in real life and online) and therealestsonic (@ollie-online and im also friends with them irl) (note: the reson i know them irl is bc i go to the same school as them)

rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (read them pls)

rule 1 no NSFW im a minor (both irl and in charter)

rule 2 self harm, racism, suicide, bullying, etc and respect everyone on my blog and if you don't the you botta be blocked

and that's all i got for now :3

[vixensdungeon]

Let's Make a Dragon!

Just for fun, I'm gonna make a dragon for Dungeons & Dragons, using the methods described in Monsters & Treasure, the second volume of the original game. This will include the dragon's hoard, of course. For the sake of simplicity, I'll pick the classic red, which was the default dragon presented in Chainmail's fantasy supplement.

First things first, I'll be rolling for the dragon's size! It might come as a surprise, but back in the days of yore this wasn't tied to the dragon's age category. I'm rolling a d20, as the original game did not use percentile dice as we would know them (or even the d10), and on a result of 13 the dragon falls into the middle 60% of its kind that are average size. So our dragon has 10 hit dice.

Next, we'll roll for its age category with a d6. A result of 5 indicates that this is an old red dragon (76-100 years old) which, and here's the really neat part, means that it also has 5 hit points per hit die, for a total of 50. I have to say I'm rather fond of the smaller numbies the older editions had. If my interpretation of the text is correct, this also means it deals 50 damage with it's fiery breath, youch!

Again rolling our trusty d20, a result of 16 indicates that this particular dragon is capable of speech, which wasn't a given back then! A further roll of 7 means it does not have the ability to cast spells, however.

But what is a dragon without its hoard? A mere lizard with extra bits. Being an old dragon, it has a full H type treasure hoard. So let's get rolling! The first three rolls actually indicate the hoard contains no coins, which is sad for the dragon because where's it gonna sleep without its bed? But it does have 69 gems (nice~) and 40 pieces of jewelry. No magical items, alas. The gems are all valued at 500 Gold Pieces, while the pieces of jewelry are worth 3,000 Gold Pieces each (as far as I can tell there's no separate rolls for every piece in the case of jewelry).

So there we have it, our very own dragon! I think I shall name him "Smeeg."

If you have the misfortune to encounter Smeeg in the wilderness, there's a 60% chance you'll find him in his mountain lair. In that case, there's a 20% chance you'll catch him sleeping. Should you manage to slay or subdue Smeeg, you will be awarded either 1,600 or 2,300 experience points (would you believe the rules are kinda vague?). And should you loot his hoard, a further 154,500 points shall be awarded, truly a king's ransom!

Huzzah, and happy hunting, dragonslayers!

[coochiequeens]

Well it is.

The move could make the practice illegal throughout the bloc.

Bridget Ryder

— October 6, 2023

Surrogacy could soon be classified as a form of human trafficking by the EU.

At its meeting on October 5th, the EU parliament’s joint committee on women’s rights and civil liberties added surrogacy to the list of crimes targeted by the bloc’s directive on preventing human trafficking.

The directive, put in place in 2011, is being revised at a crucial moment when parallel legislation on rules recognizing parentage risks facilitating surrogacy within Europe.

Most EU member states have bans on surrogacy in place, but several do permit altruistic surrogacy or simply have not regulated it. On the edges of the EU though, in countries from Ukraine to Georgia, a booming commercial surrogacy industry exists whose clients often come from within the EU. Additionally, Ukraine, well-known for its surrogacy industry, is seeking fast-track entry into the EU.   

“By classifying surrogacy as a form of human trafficking, the European Union takes a substantial step toward preventing the exploitation of women’s bodies and the commodification of children,” the European citizen’s initiative One of Us said in a statement. “This marks a significant stride in effectively safeguarding the most vulnerable and actively combating the commodification of human bodies.”

“This decision means that the weakest will be more protected in the European territory and the unborn are closer to being considered as one of us by the EU institutions,” One of Us president Marina Casini added.

She expressed her hope for the comprehensive inclusion of surrogacy in the directive. The amendment did not distinguish between surrogacy arrangements where the surrogate mother is financially compensated and those where she is not offered a financial incentive, meaning all forms of surrogacy would be designated as exploitative.

French MEP François-Xavier Bellamy with the EPP celebrated the approval of the amendment he had brought to the table as a complete ban on surrogacy within the block.

“Nice victory this morning: the proposal that I tabled, with the support of several colleagues, to ban [surrogacy] across the European Union, was adopted by a majority of votes, both right and left, he posted on X. “An essential step for the dignity of the most vulnerable.”

The position on surrogacy was overwhelmingly endorsed by MEPS with 69 votes in favor and 22 abstentions. No one opposed it.

The parliament committee also approved amendments to include the illegal adoption of children from group homes as a form of human trafficking and to ensure that victims of trafficking are not prosecuted for crimes they were forced to commit. It is common for victims of sex trafficking to also be forced to commit other crimes such as robbery. 

The committee’s draft negotiating position still has to be approved by the parliament’s plenary before the directive enters trialogue negotiations, but the wide acceptance from the Left and the Right to recognize surrogacy as a form of human trafficking is promising. 

[scrunkore]

Scrunkore Media "Thread" 2023: Part 6

the scrunko core has burned out, rebooting

63) Cassette Beasts (PC, 2023)

This is a really cool monster tamer RPG, it came up with a really fun type interaction system and there are are excellent designs in it especially with the eldritch-style bosses, that's super fun. Big fan of the setting and its unique vibe too, if you've played the game you'll know what I mean about that. Great indie I enjoyed my time with, though the romance feels tacked on and I thought the ending was just Fine. [4★]

64) Doctor Who, Series 6-10 (TV, 2011-2017)

Moffat's entire tenure with the greatest TV show in Britain, knocked out within the year, and honestly I think it was quite good. Plenty of flaws, like his messy ambitions, how weird he is about women sometimes, and how some episodes just genuinely fucking suck, but you get that with every era of the show really. The highs are damn high, especially with Capaldi's Doctor in episodes like Heaven Sent and The Doctor Falls, and I think that's enough to outweigh the bad. And I feel like series 10 in particular is often overlooked more than it should be, pretty strong one that is. No rating, but I love Doctor Who when it's good.

65) Mad Rat Dead (Switch, 2020)

MAD RAT MONDAY!!!! I played this game because of the soundtrack, which totally bangs and of course you need that in a rhythm game like this one. Fun one it is too, it has options to make it less challenging and the story is unexpectedly pretty cool. I'm not very good at it, but I beat it and I had a fun time doing so. Rats rule. [4★]

66) Doctor Who: The Lonely Assassins (Switch, 2021)

This is apparently the only good Doctor Who game still officially playable, and yeah, I can see it. Immersing yourself in a mystery contained within a smartphone featuring an iconic monster and fun appearances from existing characters is pretty cool, though it can be kinda janky and there's not that much to it in the end. Certainly an alright experience though. [3★]

67) F-Zero 99 (Switch, 2023)

My only experience with F-Zero so far, the surprise announcement that jumpscared fans of the series before turning out to be a battle royale type game that's actually... kinda good? Chaotic fun with decently engaging gameplay, it's something you pick up and play for a bit before doing something else but don't play for hours once the honeymoon phase wears off. Sure helps add something to NSO, sure hope it doesn't get taken down in a year. [3.5★]

68) Sonic Superstars (PC, 2023)

A good new Sonic game! From Sonic Team! The series really has been popping off lately, and though some people complained about this one, I genuinely think it stands at least close to the classic titles it's following up from. Levels are fun and creative with the only real bullshit being in the optional postgame (which does kind of suck if you're not good), and though the soundtrack has plenty of duds it's still pretty decent overall. Cool cast of playable characters too, and it's great seeing Fang come back, with the new character Trip also being a fun addition. I don't think this is peak Sonic, but for me it was a good time that I enjoyed for the most part. [4★]

69) Super Mario Bros. Wonder (Switch, 2023)

Oh 2D Mario is so fucking back, this takes the formula that the "New" series was running with and gives it a super aggressive shake-up and an injection of creativity that it really needed. It has a really nice visual look, actually cool level design that is great to run through, fun powers, and a large roster of playable characters including Daisy finally. Not to mention it sounds good, the music is a great important part of it and the talking flowers in every level are honestly just fun. One of the best platformers on Switch right now, I like it more than Odyssey honestly. [5★]

70) Shaun the Sheep: Farmageddon (Movie, 2019)

Bit of a silly watch this was, but in all honesty I'll always be a fan of Aardman's work and this is a pretty fun movie that all ages can enjoy whether they like Shaun the Sheep or not. It's animated as well as you'd expect, does some cute stuff, and honestly I kinda like the music in it too. Just a funny little adventure with that silly sheep and his weird cute alien friend. [3.5★]

71) Suika Game (Switch, 2023)

Suika Game.

72) Mario Kart 8 Deluxe: Booster Course Pass (Switch DLC, 2022-2023)

Dropping a two-year DLC that doubles the track list and adds a bunch of new characters and balance updates to a Mario Kart game we thought was over was a fucking wild thing to do, but Nintendo did it and honestly it worked out quite well. Sure, it's clearly all Tour ports and a lot of them don't look too hot, but for the sheer quantity of it I don't think I can complain too much. They even chose pretty good tracks for the most part, with only a few favourites being left out that I can only assume will be remade in the next game and therefore end up better than ever. I think the game is actually done now, and I think it's probably the best Mario Kart at this point. Not bad at all. [4★]

73) PLUTO (Anime, 2023)

An anime that took ages to get made, and it shows all the polish that much time of production should have you expect (perhaps too much polish with all those unnecessary digital effects). It's a pretty complete adaptation of a much-praised manga about war, robots and consciousness, some strong science fiction with quite good writing based on an old arc from Tezuka's Astro Boy manga. It's pretty tragic how things turn out for most of the characters, but it's so good how it goes about things, and I think it was worth the wait. One of the best Netflix-distributed anime, I'd say. [4.5★]

74) Super Mario RPG (Switch, 2023)

Geno fans have not shut up for years, so how does his game hold up now that it's been polished up into HD? Not bad, honestly. It's a solid RPG experience with simple yet engaging battle gameplay that laid the foundations for other Mario RPG titles to come, and now it's all shiny and stuff. It's a fun journey through a whimsical Mario setting with the quirks you'd come to expect, apparently a pretty faithful remake with only a few new additions and script edits that it sort of needed. I don't think this game is really that special in 2023, but I liked it plenty. Funny that Geno is barely a character though. [4★]

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[joulethieves]

You still doing the BalVaan number game? If so, 69.

send me a number 1-100 and i will post an excerpt from my tumblr drafts of mostly balvaan WIPs

hello friend! ty for the follow and nice to meet you! and ty even more for the ask :) for #69 you get some virginity loss...this was probably written in 2018, i should get back into it. i miss writing these two fucking, ugh. they're so magnetic, their chemistry is beyond beyond (i also wrote...so much more after this, i just should finish this huh)

“If I may interrupt,” Balthier murmurs against Vaan’s lips, the press of his thumb teasing Vaan’s chin as he tilts him away slightly, “There is one rule to this little experiment.” When Vaan just blinks at him dumbly, Balthier continues with one inarguable condition: “If at any point you wish to stop, you will say so, and I will.” He punctuates it with a tilt of his head, eyes locked onto Vaan’s.

His response is yet another bruising kiss, and when Vaan parts he merely grins. “I’m not gonna change my mind,” he says, and Balthier is distantly aware that Vaan’s hands are still stuttering along his torso in a growing curiosity. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.”

“Most who have gotten this far with me don’t,” Balthier muses with a tilt of his head, “but it doesn’t hurt to clarify.” He tucks a strand of hair behind Vaan’s ear before teasing the lobe softly with his finger. “Especially considering you are the type to throw yourself into something without knowing the risks.”

“Risks?” Vaan asks, settling against Balthier’s torso. It is oddly fitting the way his body contours to Balthier, and oddly unsettling how comfortable it feels. The pirate rests his hand on the small of Vaan’s back, to tease the elastic waistband of his night-slacks.

Vaan props himself over Balthier with his elbows on either side, head tilted. 

“You can’t take this sort of thing back, you know,” Balthier hints with a knowing raise of his brow. He remembers his first time with a man; he was no older than Vaan, enamored and dreadfully curious of a senior at the Akademy. Likely the fop is but a senator now, seated with his (rather fine) ass in a cushy chair among noblemen, but it had been a good lay nonetheless. And although he wouldn’t take it back, he can’t exactly walk away in good faith from this while knowing Vaan would have any sense of regret.

 It is no mystery the Dalmascan is madly starry-eyed for him; he’s known it since the moment Fran said “sky pirate” in the damned sewers months ago. But that does not mean he can go around swiping virginities here and there. That’s not the kind of thief he is.

But he won’t say no if such a lovely thing is offered. It is perhaps the Archadian in him, ever-lingering, that desires explicit clarification before such an investment is made.

“Is that it?” He rolls his eyes, a familiar gesture for such an unfamiliar position. “I wasn’t born yesterday. I know what I want.”

“Then say it,” Balthier cuts through Vaan’s argument like a blade to grass. He’s not the type to beat around the bush, no pun intended, and Vaan’s lithe body writhing against his is slowly starting to fray his wherewithal for negotiating.  “I want to hear you say it.”

It wasn’t meant to make Vaan shudder but he does, and Balthier feels Vaan’s hands curl around his shoulders. The little thief looks into his eyes and says, ever-indignantly, “Fine. I to have sex. With you.” And then the little chit dares to add, “And now.”

At this, Balthier’s lips curl into a grin, half-gentle and half-wicked. “Very well,” the pirate purrs, tracing lazy, idle circles on Vaan’s lower back with insouciant arcs of his wrist. The motion stops, however, when he dips his hand beneath the fabric there, to playfully squeeze the Dalmascan’s rear. “Then I suppose you can start by undressing me.”

With some reluctance, Vaan peels himself away from Balthier to slide down the length of the bed until he’s straddling either side of the pirate’s legs. He had thought earlier to perhaps remove his leathers in anticipation for Vaan’s visit, but thought it might be more fun to see the thief try and wrest him out of it first. 

Balthier watches Vaan’s eyes - they scan the expanse of the leather, the tightness hugging his thighs, and most importantly the bulge beneath it. His hardness from their earlier kissing has but faded, though the leather still strains against the suggestion of it: he’d happily return to that state if Vaan would simply earn it.

If it were Balthier, he would take his time; he would slide his hands up Vaan’s thighs, nuzzle the hardness there, lap at the leather with his tongue before unzipping his clothes with his very teeth. But where Balthier is a man of patience, Vaan is anything but. Thus, it doesn’t surprise Balthier when Vaan’s hands go right to the snaps of his pants, his eager hands working the buttons with a slight fumble.

“How d’you get these off?” Vaan mutters aloud, brow quirked. “I feel like I need a Lente’s Tear just to get in them.”

Balthier chuckles and hooks a finger through one of the belt loops before lifting his hips. “Watch and learn, if you care to do this again. I won’t be so patient next time.” But he says it good naturedly, and with a roll of his hips and a rustle of fabric, the trousers are tossed to the floor and Vaan hardly seems to give a damn about the predicament any longer.

The Dalmascan’s curiosity has stirred Balthier’s interest, and he lies back on the pillows, one leg bent and off to the side in a lazy lounge. He watches Vaan watch him, and can’t deny it makes him hard: to be stared at with such an open hunger, by such a comely little face. 

“Well?” Balthier goads, slipping his thumb beneath the waistband of his undergarments, just as form-fitting as anything else he owns. “You don’t expect me to do all the work around here, do you?”

Vaan swallows dryly and moves to pull off the remaining fabric keeping him from in between Balthier’s legs. That, at least, he’s capable of, and he slides them down slowly - and doesn’t even finish the damn job, leaving them half on his thighs before his hands grab something different altogether.

Cheeky little brat. But Balthier merely watches, content to be an audience for now, doted upon by the honest journey of Vaan’s hands learning his body. With short, slow strokes, Vaan’s hand moves along his flesh, coaxing it to a hardness. He watches Vaan switch from a stroke to a breathy skim, more experimental than deliberately teasing, as the pads of his fingers trace the ridge of Balthier’s cockhead, down the length of his shaft and up again. It’s kind of nice. Vaan surveys the length of him once, twice more, before again learning his girth with a gentle grip.

 Balthier relaxes further into the pillows against the headboard and enjoys this rare moment of privacy. Aside from the sound of Vaan’s hands on him, only that of the distant skystone hum permeates the Strahl as they dock idly over some patch of land in Tchita. 

Vaan learns the feel of Balthier and Balthier, in turn, learns the feel of Vaan. His touch is firm but the movement itself feels stiff, and so when it gets boring after a moment, Balthier shifts.

“Curl your hand on the upstroke,” he instructs, and Vaan glances up at him, as though he forgot Balthier was there, before nodding.

“Okay,” Vaan responds, as though Balthier were telling him instead how to steer the yoke on crosswinds over the Naldoan, and by the gods he somehow listens, and so Balthier rewards him with a small hum from the back of his throat.  A few more strokes, and then, it seems, Vaan grows bored as well. Balthier on one hand is perfectly content to be stroked by a nubile desert boy for a while longer but it doesn’t surprise him; at seventeen he imagines Vaan has done enough of that ilk and he came here to learn, not to rehearse. 

“Can I--?” Vaan asks, shifting. Balthier tries to ignore the flutter of anticipation. It’s been ages since he’s had any action and the thought of a mouth on his cock is exhilirating despite Vaan’s inexperience. In fact that sounds exactly like his idea of fun. 

“You may,” Balthier nods. He’s never granted permission to have his cock sucked before and it makes him all the more hard. “Just watch your teeth, if you would.”

“Duh.”

Distant magicite-light casts a soft glow across the room, painting them both in an aura of amber, and the light catches Vaan’s lips as he parts them to take Balthier in his mouth, slow and deliberate.